mayday, mayday!

Well, here I am, on the eve of the big cross season and all seems to be falling apart. The plan was to take the moderate fitness i had and bump it up a notch with training and racing over the last month. Instead I raced awful @ the tour of the catskills, suffering in an epic way, requiring some time off. Then family vacation brought more unexpected time off. I had hoped that time off would help but not the case. I then figured that it must have been too much time off and i was behind on training. After a good block on the bike, this seemed to be a false assumption too. To make matters worse a wrist injury from earlier in the year really started to flare up after catskills. I have changed my bar position a bit and started wearing a brace, which started to allow the wrist to begin to heal. I went to a pt who specializes in hand stuff to get some advice on keeping it on the mend during cross, which tends to be hard on that part of the body. Regarding everything else i have sortof narrowed it down to life.....I'm tired from life. Not over trained. No way. I dont feel under trained, but I have been really, really stressed out and spread really thin trying to be a pro, working man, and homesteader all at once. Last time I raced cross I was working but things have changed since then. I have alot more work @ home and alot more interests @ home. Before it was really just work and bike racing. Now there is so much more. As agreed I have finished up @ work and focus on cross full time. I have this week to try to rest and salvage what I can to start the season with. If I can do that then maybe I'll be able to ride into shape through the racing. The last component that has me a little worried is my situationcoming back with no UCI points, which determine my start position. Having none means I start in back. Now normally I would have few "tune up" races in New England where the elite feild might be spread around at a few different races. Therefor a smaller, shallower field to get the season underway with. Now the calendar is thinned out. One UCI event to be had by all. It seems I will have to contend with the big boys and a big field, right away and from the back. Unless things miraculously come together on my end and/or these situations dont turn out to be so bad, well I might be in for some suffering.