Friday, December 28, 2012

I'm cold

I grabbed a win on day 1 of Supercross, and felt decent. Better than most of 2012, so I'll take it, but things cooled down pretty quick. Day 2 I felt pretty off and wasn't happy about it. NCGP was a complete disaster. Particularly Sunday. Embarrassing is the best word to describe my feelings from the day. I didn't even give my fitness the opportunity to fail because I was falling all over the place. Set the bike up all wrong with WAY too much psi. Just a complete mess.

On the bright side, there have definitely been times in my cycling career in which, under these circumstances, I woulld have just quit. Now-a-days I seem to be reasonably content with under-performing. Maybe "content" is the wrong word, but I feel like I can shrug it off and keep plugging away much better than I used to. That being said, I AM a realist. I've said before "you don't learn much when things come easy. You learn a ton when you make every mistake in the book". Well I'm going to add to that. You also don't learn a whole lot when you put the blinders on and deny the mistakes you made. I have to recognize how poorly I performed in order to see the mistakes I made and try to correct them. Things only get ugly when this creeps into you self esteem and you start to believe that you performed poorly because you ARE poor. I still go out to train and race with certain expectations. I have lofty dreams, but set reasonable expectations. The drawback that inevitably comes along with having expectations is the failure that you set yourself up for. I'll take the self-imposed failure every now and then, hell, I'll take a whole season worth, because I know I can work through them so I can have the expectations that provide me with the motivation and drive to become the bike racer that I used to be and the even better bike racer that I want to be in the future.

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